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Wed, 05 Sep 2018 19:32:11 +0000 de-DE hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.9.3 https://collecting-moments.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/logo_web_19-100x100.png Geburtstag – Collecting MMNTS – Lifestyle, Travel & Photography https://collecting-moments.org 32 32 Hilfe, ich bin 30 – eine kleine Glosse https://collecting-moments.org/hilfe-ich-bin-30/ https://collecting-moments.org/hilfe-ich-bin-30/#comments Tue, 13 Feb 2018 18:57:57 +0000 https://collecting-moments.org/?p=1484 Es wäre gelogen, wenn ich sagen würde, dass ich mich nicht etwas vor meinem 30. Geburtstag gefürchtet hätte. Nicht, weil mich die Zahl an sich stört, sondern weil diese verdammte „3“ mir einen Teil meiner Jugendlichkeit wegnimmt. Das war zumindest mein subjektives Gefühl. Vermutlich ist außerdem keine andere Lebensphase an so viele Erwartungen geknüpft, die vielleicht manche von uns weder erfüllen können noch erfüllen wollen. Sei es ein Haus kaufen, Kinder bekommen, zu heiraten, sich einen Hund zuzulegen, sich selbständig zu machen oder seine Eizellen einzufrieren. Völlig egal.

Das Ende der 20er

Und nicht zu vergessen; für mich war das der erste runde Geburtstag, an dem ich tatsächlich einmal mein Leben reflektiert habe. An den anderen runden Geburtstagen war dafür kein Platz, denn so viel habe ich zu dem Zeitpunkt noch nicht erlebt. Wenn ich deshalb meine bewegendsten Jahre einordnen müsste, dann haben die sich definitiv zwischen der 20 und der 30 abgespielt: Ausbildung, Studium, erster Job, Trennungsschmerz von der ersten großen Liebe, Auslandsaufenthalt, die Abnabelung (auch monetär) von den Eltern und so weiter. Meine Liste ist da sehr lang und Eure vermutlich auch. Und ja, zwangsläufig denken wir auch darüber nach, was wir nicht geschafft haben, von dem was wir uns mit 18 vielleicht einmal ausgemalt haben.

Ab der 30 werde ich vernünftig

Was auch mit dieser „3“ einhergeht, ist die kleine Stimme in Deinem Kopf, die Dir sagt, dass Du nun vernünftig werden und Dir ein solides Leben aufbauen musst. Kurz und knapp – ich fand die Vorstellung, dreißig zu werden irgendwie a.) öde, b.) langweilig und c.) einfach doof. Am liebsten hätte ich gesagt: „Weißt Du was, ist ja ganz nett, was Du mir hier gerade vorschlägst, aber ich will da irgendwie nicht mitmachen. Komm‘ in fünf Jahren noch einmal wieder – vielleicht bin ich dann bereit für Dich.“ Zu meinem Leidwesen, war die Zahl 30 der härteste Verhandlungspartner in meinem Leben und wenig kooperativ.

Selbstmotivation ?

Nachdem ich dann also alles Negative, Langweilige und Perfide an der Zahl 30 in meinem Kopf zusammengestellt und mich innerlich auf meinen mentalen Tod vorbereitet hatte, habe ich mich gefragt, wie es wäre, heute 20 zu sein? Nostalgisch habe ich dabei festgestellt, dass ich es nicht mehr sein möchte. Denn all das, was ich bisher erlebt habe, möchte ich nicht mehr missen. Ich möchte, dass sich die Tränen, die ich gelacht und geweint habe, in meinem Gesicht widerspiegeln. Ich möchte Ich sein, ob mit 29 ½, 30 oder auch 60. Ja, ich habe Ecken und Kanten und sie gelernt zu akzeptieren. Ich weiß, was ich kann, wer ich bin und wer ich sein möchte. Das wusste ich mit 20 nicht. Bis heute trage ich keine Größe 34 und habe unzählige Diäten später festgestellt, dass sich der Aufwand auch einfach nicht lohnt. Auch das ist eine Erkenntnis. Und die wohl Wichtigste von allen; eine Zahl sollte unser Denken und Handeln niemals dominieren. Es ist eine leere Nummer auf einem Blatt Papier.

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